Hey y’all!

For my returning readers, I see you! To my new readers, I’m so glad you chose to stop by!

This is my unedited, unfiltered, give it to you straight, no chaser, view of healing.

Had I known that healing was going to be disruptive, heart breaking, lonely, and would make me question most of what I knew, I would have reconsidered. Healing is not for the faint of heart. It pushes you out of your comfort zone, and makes you confront the good, the bad, and the ugly!

When I tell you ignorance is bliss! Man listen…it’s bliss. When you start to discuss your deep, dark secrets and uncover the truth of who you are at your core, you become a stranger in your own home.

I was hiding! I had taken on the identity of who people wanted me to be and not being who God called me to be. Because of that, I ended up lost. Until one day, I got tired of wearing the mask.

As a member of the melanated multitude, we are KNOWN for wearing a mask. We do it at work, we do it around people we don’t really know, and when we are uncomfortable. Hell, some of us do it because we don’t feel worthy, that’s another post for another day. But it’s presenting the “acceptable” version of ourselves.

I remember my therapist, Dr. C, asking me “Who are you?”

I didn’t have an answer. I could tell her what I had accomplished but I didn’t have an answer for who I was. The realization of that stung.

After months, I think maybe a year of diving into my past, identifying trauma, I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. I had an idea of who I was. I was slowly taking off the mask. I was winning a battle, but there was still a war.

Can I be real? Okay, good, thank you! Sometimes healing hurts more than the wound!

It not only uncovers things about you, but it reveals the intentions and motives of family and friends. Truth is, NOT EVERYONE WANTS YOU TO HEAL!

Why not?

Glad you asked. Not everyone has the capacity to deal with the healed version of you! Many people have needs that are being met by the UNHEALED version of you! When you start healing, they lose their benefits!

This is the part in the story where I wanted to give up. I lost friends, my relationships changed, and I became a loner at one point. It felt safer to be alone because showing up as a better version of me led me right back to feeling unacceptable.

Healing is expensive! It costs comfort, family, friends, lovers and lusters if we’re honest, and the old you. Yesterday’s price is not today’s price!!

The bible says, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind…” Romans 12:2. I’m getting back in the Word AMEN!

I learned that healing is all about changing your mindset. It’s not about your past, but the present so you can build a better future. For you, your children, your relationals.

As I said when we started, it’s not for the faint of heart! You have to be accountable and tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God!

When you commit to the journey and work on being self-full there’s peace! You stop compromising your values, you start standing in your truth, you choose yourself first, and you begin to change your life by changing your mindset. As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.

At the end of the day, healing is about choosing you, for you, to be better to you and others.

The best gift you can give yourself is the BEST version of yourself.

Healing is a journey; you decide where you want to go.

I love y’all 🤟

~Dee